I fucking hate you. Seriously France, what is your problem? Listen, I get it….YOU'RE SUPER FIT AND ATTRACTIVE. Does that make you better than me? PROBABLY FRANCE! Paris is a scam France! It was created solely to make Americans feel badly about themselves. I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY FRANCE! I doubt I'll be able to afford anything in your super swanky cities. God you make me so sick. TRÈS MALADE FRANCE! Betcha didn't think I knew how to speak French did you France? Well I don't! And I'm sick of you pointing it out! UGH...STOP BONJOURING ME FRANCE! Are you too good for Hello? Is that it? I know you speak English France and we both know I'm American so why don't you cut me some mother fucking slack. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME FRANCE! I know you're glaring at me France…THIS IS A CHICAGO BEARS T-SHIRT FRANCE! GET OVER IT! I wear clothes that look like pajamas because I can't fit into pants. I CAN'T FIT INTO PANTS FRANCE! I bet that makes you real happy doesn't it France. You sick son of a bitch. YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER FRANCE! Seriously, get your shit together. Your accent is stupid France…it's disgusting. You sound like a fucking idiot so why don't you just cut the crap. I get it France! You're super unique and laid-back. I AM FREAKING OUT OK FRANCE!? I HAVE A JOB FRANCE! While you're bulking up on espressos in front of some French-speaking café I AM GOING TO MY MOTHER FUCKING JOB. Did you get that France?! Your Marlboro Reds taste like Marlboro Lights France…and that…is fucking…bullshit. I hate you. I literally hate you France. You better watch your mother fucking back.